Digimon World: The ForeverScrewed Version
by M.C. Castle
Summary: A parody of the Digimon World video game. Note: the main character is MAJORLY OOC, as are many of the other characters. Rated T for language and themes.


This is a parody based on the Digimon World video game's storyline. It's my first comedy, so be nice. R&R!

I don't own any characters in this story, nor do I own the plot on which it is based. Well, maybe you could say I own the character Gary, but his concept belongs to Ban-Dai.

Chapter One: Digimon World

Gary ran down the street. He was meeting his friends today at the park to play Digimon. He saw them, and ran up to them, saying, "Hey!"

"Oh, you're here," said one of his friends.

"You're just in time to see my MetalMamemon kick his MetalGreymon's ass!" said his other friend.

"Are you kidding me?" said his first friend. "There's no way you're gonna win with that puny little tin can! I'm gonna give you a royal ass-wiping!" He paused as everyone stared at him. "Whipping. Ass-whipping. Yeah. That's what I meant."

"MetalGreymon and MetalMamemon!" Gary said in amazement (so much amazement, in fact, that he ignored his first friend's statement). "What a fight this'll be!"

"Alright, let's go!" said his first friend. They plugged in their key chains and began to fight.

In Digimon World…

"Ah, so we meet again," said MetalMamemon, readying his claw and cannon. He spoke in a British accent.

"Duh, yeah," said MetalGreymon, "but this time, you won't win!" He spoke in a low, dumb-sounding voice.

"Oh, please," said MetalMamemon. "You know you're too stupid to win against me."

"We'll see about that!" MetalGreymon launched missiles from his chest.

MetalMamemon simply sighed. He ran up toward him and blocked his shot. Then, he jumped into the air and shot a giant laser beam at him. It hit him directly, and he fell over. "Down already?" said MetalMamemon. "Too bad. I was hoping for a challenge."

"Duh, I ain't done yet, you little tin can!" said MetalGreymon, getting up. He slammed his claw into the ground, and a giant boulder shot out. It cracked open, and a few of the smaller boulders buried MetalMamemon. But he had seen this coming. MetalMamemon got the one thing out of his pocket that would help him win the battle: a plastic spoon. Not only could this transparent utensil be used for eating food, but it could also be used for digging. And what MetalMamemon needed right now was a hole (though he was already fighting one). With his mighty strength, he dug and dug with the little plastic spoon. The hole grew in size, and soon, he was out from under the pile of boulders.

The spoon hadn't lived out its usefulness yet. With a quick motion, MetalMamemom used the spoon to lift a boulder from the ground and hurl it at MetalGreymon. How this is even possible, I'll never know. But hey, it's the Digital World. Anything can happen, right? I guess? Kinda?

The boulder smashed MetalGreymon into the ground. MetalMamemon walked up to him and said, "Game over, knuckle-dragger!"

Back in the real world…

"Haha!" said Gary's second friend. "Eat that!"

"What?!" said his first friend. "How is this possible?! He beat me with a freakin' spoon, for god's sake! Who fights with a _spoon?_"

"It worked, didn't it?" said his second friend.

"He's got a point there," said Gary.

Upset, his first friend stormed home, grumbling inaudible profanities. Gary asked his second friend, "I don't get it, though. How did you win so easily?"

"Simple," said his second friend in reply. "You see, his MetalGreymon digivolved from a halfwit Gabumon, while my MetalMamemon digivolved from an intelligent Agumon."

This confused Gary. "But I thought that MetalGreymon came from Agumon."

"True," said his second friend, "but he can also come from Gabumon, if he digivolves into the even stupider Drimogemon. But my Agumon digivolved into an intellectual Centarumon, and then into the epitome of intelligence, MetalMamemon."

By this time, Gary's eyes had glazed over and a five-foot string of drool hung from his mouth. His second friend slapped him to wake him from his trance. This caused him to fall over and pierce his testicles on a shard of broken glass. After wiping the gravel from his face and cleaning out his pants, he glared at his friend. "That really wasn't necessary, you know."

The second friend smiled. "I know," he said. He ran off, laughing every step of the way.

Gary sighed. His friends were such jerks. If only he had friends who wouldn't laugh at him for every kick he got in the pants area. He walked home all dismal-like and stuff.

At home, Gary saw a note on the table. It was from his mother. It said: "Gary, I had to work late tonight. My boss says I'm lazy, unproductive, stupid, and several other words I couldn't understand. The point is, I didn't have time to make anything for dinner. So eat some pudding or something. Love, Mom."

Gary found the pudding and got out a plastic spoon from the drawer. He looked at it for a while and thought about the battle he had witnessed today. He wedged the spoon beneath the refrigerator and tried to lift it up. This caused the spoon to snap in half. One of the spoon shards flew straight into Gary's eye. "OW!" he shouted. "DAMMIT!"

Gary ran into his room and looked for a bandage of some sort. As he rummaged through his mess of things, he saw his Digi-Keychain going crazy. And I don't mean this lightly. It wasn't just saying that there was a '404 error' or any of that shit. No, this thing was making funny noises and flashing like a strobe light, like some kind of crazy demon-possessed video-gasm.

Then the keychain sat bolt upright on Gary's bed. There was a Koromon on its screen, spitting out inconceivable gibberish and jumping up and down like a frog on stimulants. Gary scratched his head and said, "What ze hell?" Suddenly, all these weird little blue things came out of the keychain and sucked Gary in like some kind of…wild Gary-sucker. I don't know, I ran out of clever analogies.

Anywho, Gary woke up after being sucked in by the keychain to find himself surrounded by a bunch of Digimon. Baby Digimon, to be precise. But there was this other one that had the look of a wrinkled tree stump with a gnarled stick in its hand.

"Greetings, Gary," said the tree stump-like thing, after whacking me in the head with his staff for saying he looked like a tree stump. "Welcome to Digimon World!"

"Digimon World? Egad!" said Gary, who had obviously landed headfirst when he fell into Digimon World and had adopted a temporary British accent. (So I'm overusing the whole British thing. Big deal! I think British accents are funny.)

"Egad indeed," said the tree stump thing. "I guess you'd like an explanation. Well, follow me inside, and all will be made clear to you! Except, of course, how to get rid of that rash that our tropical grass has caused on your rear end."

So Gary followed the mysterious figure inside his house, which looked like the morphed lovechild of a tin can and a box of drugs. All the while, he was itching his ass, wondering where the bloody hell he was, and eating M&Ms off the floor for reasons unknown to even him.

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And so ends the first chapter! Video-gasm…damn, I'm one clever SOB. Well, R&R, and expect the next chapter to be even more jam-packed with off-the-wall randomness!


End file.
